On Caring

Some of my friends tell me they have been praying or meditating a lot recently and this helps them handle their troubles better. They feel more peaceful and centred and can tolerate or ignore things which would've made them very agitated earlier, things which they have found after many years of fighting or struggle to be beyond their control.

I'm not religious. I don't have particularly strong views about religion either. For me it's something that other people do, like horse riding. Hence praying is not my thing. If I ever use the word "praying", what I mean is that I'm wishing for something with all my heart.

I don't get the meditation thing either, though not for lack of trying. When you're back in the real world, your problems will be right there waiting patiently to welcome you. Maybe it works as a good break. For me a brisk walk or an iPod serves the purpose just as well to create some distance.

What works for me is to care a lot. And keep caring. About whatever problem is bothering me. Caring to the point of tears, caring to the point of repeated humiliation, caring to keep fighting about it and keep speaking up about it and keep searching for solutions about it and not stop caring.

Nothing always works, and this doesn't either, and its hard on the heart all the time, but it has a sufficient success rate for me to keep at it, and besides I don't know any other way.

Internal Audit For A Public Servant's Soul

A random checklist of things for a public servant (someone like me) to revisit periodically on the job:

(1) Am I in touch with my subordinates? Am I making full use of their knowledge and experience on one hand, and their personal wisdom on the other? 

(2)Do they radiate the same spirit of being accessible to the public which I (hopefully) do? 

(3) Am I dealing with any negligence or corruption on the part of my subordinates sternly, promptly, but humanely?

(4) Are my subordinates clear that I expect excellence, and will make every effort to ensure that it is rewarded appropriately, keeping aside personal considerations?

(5) Are mutual staff relations healthy?

(6) Am I advising my superiors correctly?

(7) There are times when my speaking up in front of my superiors can make a big difference to the final decisions and outcomes. Am I sure I have not let any such times slip by?

(8) In a more narrow context-when I am faced personally with a morally dubious course of action prescribed by a superior- or a subordinate- do I point it out? Politely, without getting abusive or personal? On the basis of clear facts and rules/laws?

(9) When I can see that I am likely to face undue pressure, have I taken advance action to raise the bulwarks so that the public interest is not harmed?

(10) Am I sure I am personally clean enough to confidently take the moral high ground if and when things get rough?

(11) Do I remember, and regularly remind myself, how it feels to be on the other side of the table or counter? Am I willing to wear my status lightly most of the time because the reward of being able to learn more and perform better is a richer prize?

(12) Do I often consider how new technologies and new ideas that I get exposed to in daily life could be utilized to make my work more effective?

I'd made up this checklist a couple of years back but it still looks relevant to me, over and above other skill sets.